Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Resolutions 2015

This is a new year of 2015 and it has started off in a shaky manner.  That is the best way I can put it. This year I feel is going to be a year of change.  In 2014, I started the change.  I started this blog and I started to open up with some feelings that I have been carrying for many, many years.  2015 will feature more opening up.  I am in a place in my life where I want those who are close to me to know me.  I have said this before, and in 2015 I mean it.  Resolutions 2015 will also feature a Tim that will be speaking up more.  I am the type of guy that has never been one to rock the boat because I don't want to be that guy that is a big pain in the ass to be around.  I will continue to not rock the boat, but I will be more vocal.  I also do not want to be that guy that always has problems going on because that simply isn't true.  Right now in my life, things are not looking so positive and I will get through it because I always do.  I just don't know how much time this one is going to take to get through.  I will be more forward and assertive because I, now more than ever, want my voice to be heard.  I want this to start immediately.  This will eventually become more evident at work because I don't want to be the guy that will just take care of things and do them because that is all I am good for.  I feel that in some ways that is the role I have slipped into at my job in some aspects.  I may not be a certified teacher, but I have worked hard to develop my role and position at my job and I feel I need to not be so afraid of the crowd reaction, but instead make sure that I am being heard.  This change will occur sooner than later.  

Another resolution that I have for 2015 is to make more money.  I struggle with amount of money I make for the job I do.  I feel this way for all of my support staff co-workers who bust their ass at their jobs.  If I had to live on my own, my job would not pay me enough to survive.  I would be living in poverty and that is a scary thought.  I don't know how I am going to go about this, but I can tell you it will be done legally.  I want 2015 to be the year where I start to not worry so much about financial stuff.  

Resolutions 2015 will also feature a healthier lifestyle.  My goal this year (when I can afford it) is to join the Brainerd YMCA.  I want to start working out on a regular basis.  With the wonderful world of technology and podcasts, this will help me accomplish this goal.  If I can have something that interests me to listen to, it will help kick ass in exercising.  

My final resolution for 2015 is a big one and it may be the most difficult challenge for me this year.  I want to figure out who my friends are.  My goal for doing this is because I have been slapped in the face with a lot of negativity in the past six weeks by many in my family. I don't feel like I have much family left.  There are a few left who are talking to me, but that list is short.  This is a lonely feeling. This negativity that I have been going through has been dominating my time, thoughts, and reactions. It is time for me to analyze the people I know and figure out who my friends are.  I feel like I have a lot of acquaintances and that is a good thing, but I feel like I don't have many I can call my friends. This is all my fault and I want to fix it for 2015.  I need to figure this out so I can expand my support system for the times when I need friends, times like now.  Happy New Year!!!

#plentyofworktodo

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